Our experience of playgroups

Bobby had only been fitted with his hearing aids for about seven weeks before lockdown hit. The whole world stopped but the worry, uncertainty and panic about his deafness didn’t. It was frightening and nerve-wracking. Little did I know, back then was the easiest time for him wearing his hearing aids as he kept them in. Lockdown happened and we got through the days the best we could, doing every workshop possible with the National Deaf Children’s Society. I was determined to learn everything about childhood deafness, and was even more determined to have Bobby stimulated through lockdown to make sure he was developing as he was expected too. We made him a sensory room and spent hours upon hours talking to him, singing, learning signs. We started to enjoy our little bubble and, although the world was tough and things were scary, I was very grateful to be put on furlough and to have the opportunity to be with my children.

As restrictions eased, I signed up to multiple toddler classes and looked forward to showing off my beautiful boy and getting out and about with him. But nothing prepared me for the heartache I felt when I realised this was more of a challenge than I had ever anticipated. I happily skipped to a playgroup every day, everyone had masks on naturally, but I suddenly found myself constantly saying ‘he can’t hear you – he’s deaf!’ Most people were amazing but one playgroup had me in floods of tears.
It was an outdoor playgroup and I realised quickly that he couldn’t quite catch what I was saying to him. Background noise, particularly the busy main road, made it harder for him and, as there was grass and adventures to be had, suddenly being on the reigns was too restrictive. I also realised at this group that the radio aid cut off after a certain distance, so although he was safe running around within a boundary, he was still too far for me to safely call him back. Of course I thought he was ignoring me because he was occupied, but I soon learnt this wasn’t the case. I learnt how far I could be away from him with the radio aid connected and working but I also found that he got very frustrated and began to mute me. With hindsight, he was probably trying to listen in to everything around him and my voice was distracting him. Farm animals and different sounds he hadn’t really had access to in lockdown were interesting him. Sounds of kids playing and screaming with delight intrigued him and he started to copy. But his own squeals made him pull out his own hearing aids in shock.

I went home after the third session at the outdoor playgroup thinking ‘I can’t do this’. It felt like we were back to square one with Bobby pulling his hearing aids out and I was upset. Had I failed my boy?

Once I’d cried my tears and dusted myself off, I decided nothing had beaten us yet so I introduced a sticker system. Slowly but surely Bobby recognised a clap for leaving his hearing aids alone meant a sticker and usually a sweetie or two. We built up the time he was wearing them again and I started to recognise that he needed a little break every now and again because of sensory overload. Just ten minutes quiet in his pram relaxed him and seemed enough for him to carry on.

Outside playgroups are so difficult for deaf children, and the stress I felt in that situation rubbed off on him naturally. I also found that Bobby wasn’t considered at song time by the staff, it felt almost impossible outside for him to join in with. Deaf children need to be at the front, by the singer and included as much as any hearing children. Running around and not being encouraged to join in may be their choice some days, but I would like to see playgroups include deaf children more. They should be paying more attention to the fact some children will need a clear face shield not a mask and some won’t respond to an adult shouting ‘Let’s sing some songs!’ Using signs and pictures to show the song and instruments will help deaf children, they can feel the vibrations and join in. I also find Bobby reacts better if he takes his shoes off and feels the noises.

Playgroups are fun and I love taking my gorgeous boy out and about. I love it when people ask us questions about his deafness and we take the hearing aids out and let the children see them. There doesn’t need to be a stigma. Bobby is as capable as any hearing child and I’ll make sure he knows that all his life. He can and will achieve anything he wants to.