Pragmatics and social communication

Social communication describes everything we do when we interact and communicate with others. It includes: 

• using spoken or signed language
• using body language and facial expressions
• changing how we communicate depending on who we’re communicating with and why.

Pragmatics is an important part of social communication. It describes how we understand and use language to help us communicate appropriately. We use our pragmatic skills to know what to say, when to say it, and how much to tell people. 

My favourite was the first time she signed ‘sorry’ to her brother through gritted teeth and with an upset look on her face. That incorporated everything for me. She was communicating, she understood the emotions of the situation, she knew she’d done something wrong, but she wasn’t happy about it. It was amazing.

Mary is mum to Genevieve (8) who's profoundly deaf and uses speech and British Sign Language (BSL).

Read Genevieve's story.

Building good pragmatic skills

Building good pragmatic skills is important for many reasons. For example, children need pragmatic skills to express their needs and wants. Adults need pragmatic skills to communicate with a wide range of people at work and in personal relationships. Connecting and engaging with others is vital for friendships and relationships.

Pragmatics is also important academically. Lots of learning-based activities rely on working in groups and communicating with peers appropriately in different situations. Pragmatic skills can include:

• taking turns, including taking turns in conversations
• following cultural and social rules
• understanding implied meanings
• using and reading body language and cues

The pragmatic language and social interaction skills that most parents and teachers believe are important are:

• conversation skills
• understanding the thoughts, feelings and intentions of others (known as Theory of Mind)
• friendship skills

Theory of Mind 

Theory of Mind is the ability to understand that other people have thoughts, feelings and beliefs that might be different from our own. Theory of Mind helps us to form successful relationships, explain thoughts and feelings, and recognise what someone else is thinking or feeling (especially if they don’t tell you).

Pragmatics often overlaps with Theory of Mind. Understanding what another person is feeling helps us to communicate with them in a socially appropriate way. 

Most adults use Theory of Mind every day. For example, you might:

• tell a lie to avoid upsetting someone (for example, “Your new haircut looks great!”)
• share a joke with a friend that you wouldn’t share with a colleague (you need to understand what others know or what they find funny)
• downplay how good you are at something because you’re embarrassed about receiving a compliment, or to avoid someone else feeling bad

When we develop pragmatic skills

Pragmatic skills develop from birth. As babies interact with their families, they pay attention to their parents’ faces, gestures and signs, listen to their sounds and words, and mimic facial expressions and sounds.

As children’s language develops, they build the pragmatic language skills they need to become successful communicators. They learn to:

• be appropriately informative
• explain sequences of information accurately
• understand and use non-literal language to say what they mean. For example, instead of saying, “I’m very hungry,” they might say, “I could eat a horse.”

Children also start to understand other people’s behaviours, and can use this in conversation. They begin to understand:

• the speaker’s intentions
• what the other person in the conversation wants or needs
• the physical context

Deafness and pragmatics

Children need access to high quality communication and language to develop their pragmatic skills. It doesn’t matter whether they use sign language, spoken language or a combination. The foundations for understanding and supporting pragmatic and Theory of Mind skills are the same.

Research shows deaf children may develop pragmatic skills more slowly compared to hearing children. Even if they know age-appropriate vocabulary and grammar, deaf children may have difficulty using language in a socially appropriate manner. They may need those around them (such as their families and teachers) to be more aware of opportunities to support development.

As a parent or family member, there are lots of things you can do to support your child’s development.

Language and communication

• Use facial expressions to show your child how you’re feeling or to cue them into a joke or sad situation. Make sure they can see your face.
• Bring conversations to your child. Deaf children may struggle to overhear. Communication is the starting point for developing pragmatic skills.
• Add extra visual information such as gestures or simple signs, or by pointing to or showing what’s being discussed.
• Use play to make interactions and conversations engaging and fun. Follow your child’s lead to find out about their interests.
• Be deaf aware in group situations. Communicate one at a time, signal before talking or signing, and repeat or rephrase if your child has missed out on what was being said.

Share our communication tips with family and friends to help them support your child in conversation.

Technology

Children who are learning spoken language need good access to spoken communication. For many deaf children, this will be through hearing technology such as hearing aids, cochlear implants, and radio aids. Hearing and seeing lots of conversations and interactions will support their pragmatic skill development.

Here are some ways you can make sure hearing technology is useful to your child.

• Check that equipment is working at the start of each day.
• Write down a plan for how equipment should be used during social times at school. If you have a Teacher of the Deaf, they can help with this.
• Ask if you can take your child’s radio aid home to support social experiences outside of school.
• Consider when and where conversations take place. Could background noise be reduced? Is your child ready to listen and attend?
• Use the right technology for the situation. For example, radio aids are best in busy, noisy situations or during group conversations. For phone calls, it’s better to connect the phone directly to your child’s hearing devices using Bluetooth.

Find out more about assistive listening devices.

Deaf children learn more if adults know more

Children develop better pragmatic skills if those around them understand how to be a great communicator. Children also need opportunities to practice new skills in daily routines. These could include:

• practising starting a conversation, taking turns and sharing information.
• knowing when to be informal and when to be polite
• telling stories or narratives
• supporting their Theory of Mind

The way we interact and play with children can help them to understand how others think and feel. In fact, studies have shown that when we use words that refer to thinking and feeling, (known as mental state language), it helps children to develop Theory of Mind.

Below are some signs that a child is developing good Theory of Mind.

• Paying attention to other people and how they feel by labelling or asking what they’re thinking or feeling. You can practise this as a family by asking one another how you feel during mealtimes.
• Recognising the emotions of others and using words or signs like ‘happy’ or ‘sad’ to express them. You can practise this by sharing books or films together and discussing how the characters might feel.
• Knowing that their thoughts and feelings are different from other people’s and that others may have different likes or dislikes from each other. You can practise this by sharing how you and others might feel about the same situation or thing.
• Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions. You can practise this by taking time to label feelings and the resulting behaviours.
• Pretending to be someone else when they play. You can practise this through role play.