Building your confidence and self-advocacy skills

In this section, we’ll go through what self-confidence and self-advocacy mean, why they matter and how you can build both with support, practice and time. 

What self-confidence and resilience mean

A sense of confidence and resilience can help you navigate challenges, manage emotions and build your self-esteem. 

Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in your own abilities and being comfortable with who you are – including your strengths, struggles and everything in between. But self-confidence doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly. It means believing you can handle things and ask for help when you need it.

Resilience is your ability to ‘bounce back’ from difficult situations or challenges. It involves learning to manage stress, solve problems and move forward, rather than avoiding it when something feels tough. But being resilient doesn’t mean you have to do everything by yourself. In fact, having a good support network can help you feel more resilient in challenging situations.

Understanding your deafness 

There are lots of things that can help you feel more confident and empowered. Knowing about your deafness and what that means for your needs is one element of that.

• We highly recommend that you work together with your audiologist on a report about your deafness and what it means for you.
• You could also use something like the Ida Institute's My Hearing Explained tool or write your own personal passport or profile using our templates.
• You can then share the reports with schools, benefits assessors and other decision-makers.

Your deaf identity journey

On our main deaf identity page, we share tips to help you explore what deaf identity is. Working out your deaf identity can help you feel proud of who you are and more confident in saying what your rights, needs and preferences are.

Understanding your rights and preferences

Knowing and understanding your rights can help you understand what you’re entitled to – and can help you feel more confident in saying what others should be doing.

Depending on where you live, different laws and policies cover your rights in education, employment and other settings. Stuff like the Equality Act 2010 (Just for Kids Law) and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, or UNCRC (BBC Bitesize) say that you should have access to interpreters, captions and whatever else you need – whether that’s at school, work or in a healthcare setting.

But for various reasons, that isn’t always happening even though it should.  

What is discrimination?

Discrimination means being treated unfairly or badly because of your race, disability, gender or other parts of who you are. Sometimes, it’s obvious, but other times, it’s harder to identify. Childline's information on discrimination can help you understand more.

If you're being bullied or discriminated against, self-advocacy – and support from a trusted adult – could help you advocate for your rights. Remember: You’re capable, and you deserve access to support.

Finding people who support you

Feeling confident enough to advocate for yourself doesn't happen on its own. The people around you – sometimes referred to as your support network – can help you feel stronger, more confident and more understood.

Support networks can include anyone who can provide you with emotional, social or practical support. They should be people who help you feel safe and supported. 

Friends, teachers, tutors, healthcare professionals, family members, family friends, online groups and even work colleagues can all play a role in your network. Think about people in your life.

• Who do you trust to go to when something's bothering you?
• Is there someone whose advice you value or who makes you feel respected?

If you’re struggling with feeling left out or lonely, the NSPCC’s ‘Building Connections’ online service is there to help young people up to the age of 19 build confidence and tackle loneliness.

The deaf community

Particularly if you’re the only deaf person you know, you might feel misunderstood or like you’re not supported. It can be hard for people who aren't deaf to truly get what it feels like to be deaf.

But you're not alone. Wherever you go in the UK or in the world, you’ll often find a group of deaf people who like to meet up and enjoy time together because of their shared experiences of deafness. Our page on deaf culture and history introduces topics such as history, clubs, events and other unique parts of deaf culture.

Examples for when you might need to self-advocate

Sometimes, you might need to tell others what you need or have a right to. This is called self-advocacy. 

Advocating for yourself might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but it’s something you can learn – and you’ll likely build confidence the more you try it.

Here are some situations where self-advocacy can be useful:

• At school: You can ask for captions on a video, a better seat in the classroom or a sign language interpreter for a school trip.
• With friends: You can explain how you prefer to communicate or let them know you missed something in a group chat.
• At the doctor’s: You can ask them to face you when speaking or to arrange communication support (like an interpreter) for you.
• In your job (if you have one): You can ask for subtitles in training videos or tech that helps you follow conversations.

What to do when it's tough

It can be hard not to worry when you’ve heard stories about things going wrong. And sometimes, even when you try your best, things don’t go the way you thought they would.

One of the potential downsides of being younger is that adults have a lot of sway when it comes to making things easier (or harder) for you. Although governments and organisations have a responsibility to respect your rights and make sure you have access, this doesn’t always happen.

Common challenges include:

• Your teacher, tutor or another adult doesn’t take your needs seriously.
• You feel like you’ve been excluded – or like you don’t fully belong in either the hearing or deaf world.
• Government guidelines around types or levels of deafness make it hard for you to access services, such as a Teacher of the Deaf.

Planning ahead or having go-to statements to remind others of your rights can help. And remember: It’s OK if you are not feeling ready to take on advocating for yourself by yourself.

There are many organisations that provide advocacy support to deaf people, such as the Royal Association for Deaf people (RAD). Some areas also have locally funded organisations, such BID Services in Birmingham.

If you’re going through any of these challenges, you might find it helpful to chat with someone who gets it. Finding community (whether that’s online or in person) is great, and our friendly and experienced Helpline experts are here if you want to chat things through.

Finding deaf-friendly spaces and activities

With more and more deaf representation in the media, the world is waking up to the importance of inclusion and accessibility.

Like most systems, things can sometimes be slow to change – but we encourage you to keep stepping out into the world and exploring. Your experiences and your feedback will continue to push the world forward.

We’ve got lots of information on travel, leisure and hobbies (including holidays, team sports and days out). You can use that as a starting point when looking for inclusive spaces and activities. For example:

• Art galleries or historic places will often offer British Sign Language (BSL) tours of an event or exhibition.
• Some cinemas offer subtitled or signed options.
• Some stadiums (such as Wembly Stadium in London) offer BSL interpreters for concerts.

If you’re unsure of where to start, we suggest reaching out to your local deaf children’s society or joining some online deaf groups. You can even engage with us on social media, where we share lots of content specifically for deaf children and young people across the UK.

International options

Some deaf people enjoy meeting deaf people from other countries such as via the European Union of Deaf Youth or the World Federation of the Deaf. International Sign Language is often used at these events, but you don’t always need to know this language to take part. (Plus, it can be fun to explore a different country’s sign language!)