Understanding bullying and abuse as a deaf young person

What is bullying?

Bullying is the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological, and it can happen face-to-face or online."

- From the Anti-Bullying Alliance

Teasing and bullying are different, but what one person sees as playful teasing might be hurtful to another. If someone says or does something that’s hurtful, try talking to them about it. But if they keep doing it, then that’s bullying.

Bullying can happen to anyone, at any age. The bully might focus on what someone looks like, the clothes they wear or their communication method – but bullying says more about them and how they feel about themselves than it does about the person being bullied. 

Regardless of whether it’s verbal bullying, exclusion or physical abuse, bullying is never OK, and you don’t have to ‘put up with it’. If it’s happening to you, it’s not your fault – you deserve to feel safe and respected wherever you are.

Bullying might leave you feeling lonely, sad, angry, scared or bad about yourself, but you deserve help to make it stop. You also deserve support with how the bullying makes you feel.

Read Childline’s information on bullying

How to deal with bullies

The Anti-Bullying Alliance has videos about bullying that you might find helpful:

• 6 things to do if you're being bullied
• 5 things to do if you're being bullied online
• 4 top tips if you think someone is being bullied

General tips for dealing with bullies

• Don’t believe the bullies. They might be saying things just to make you upset or angry.
• Tell someone. This can be a friend, parent, carer, counsellor or teacher. You can also contact Childline – you won’t need to tell them your name and you can speak to them over the phone, via text or sign over video call.
• Make a record. Keep any notes, drawings or screenshots of texts or emails the bullies have sent you so that you can show someone what’s been happening. You can also write down what’s been said to you, when it was said and where the bullying happened.

How to deal with bullies in person

• Try to stay away from the bully. Schools can help you move seats or even classrooms if needed. If possible, travel with a friend, family member or trusted adult if you walk or get the bus to or from school.
• Don’t get physical. You might feel like lashing out, but it won’t help – this can make things worse and could get you into trouble yourself.

How to deal with bullies online

• Don't engage with them. Don’t reply to their text messages, emails or posts, and don’t answer calls from someone who’s bullying you, even if you know them.
• Report them. If someone’s posted something upsetting about you online, you can report them. If you’ve been bullied on your mobile phone, you can report it to your mobile network company.
• Block the bullies. Most websites will let you block people you don’t want to hear from. Some mobile phones also let you block phone numbers, so the bully won’t be able to call or text you.
• Change your privacy settings on social networks. Each social media platform is different, but this can help make sure only your real friends can contact you and see your page or profile.

What is abuse?

Abuse is when someone hurts you on purpose or treats you badly. There are many different kinds of abuse.

• Physical abuse is when someone hits, kicks or hurts your body in another way.
• Emotional abuse is when someone shouts at you, calls you nasty names, threatens you or says things that make you feel upset or unsafe.
• Sexual abuse is when someone makes you do or watch sexual things.
• Neglect is when an adult who should look after you isn't caring for you properly.

Nobody has the right to harm you, no matter who they are. If you are being abused – or if you’re worried about someone else who is being abused – it's important to tell someone about it.

If you don’t feel like you can speak to someone you know, you can also contact Childline using phone, text chat, email or a signed video chat using SignVideo.

You can see more information about abuse on the Childline website.

What about loneliness?

Meeting new friends and forming meaningful relationships with them can sometimes feel tough, especially if it doesn’t feel easy to communicate with others. Our page on managing friendships and loneliness has more tips on what to do if you struggle with loneliness.

Getting support

No one should have to deal with bullying or abuse alone. If this is happening to you, it's not your fault – and there are people who care and want to help. 

You might additional support to look after your emotional health and wellbeing, and that's OK. Reaching out to a trusted adult (such as a parent, carer, teacher or support worker) can be a good first step.