Bullying and deaf children
While a lot of children and young people will not face issues with bullying, some will.
Bullying can happen face-to-face and online, and in and outside of school. It can be hard to know what to do if you or your child are being bullied or you notice bullying behaviour.
Knowing how to recognise the signs of bullying, who to go to for support and how to deal with bullying is important. It’s also vital to know how to work with education settings to make sure they are dealing with the bullying properly.
Types of bullying
There are different types of bullying that can impact children and young people.
Verbal
Verbal bullying can include name-calling, insulting, teasing or ridiculing. It is often direct.
Emotional
Emotional bullying can include ignoring, excluding, spreading rumours or mocking a disability. It is often indirect (not done directly to a person).
Physical
Physical bullying is any physical contact which could hurt. This may include hitting, kicking, pinching, shoving or pulling off someone's hearing devices.
Manipulation
Manipulation uses someone's vulnerability as a way of controlling them. An example of manipulation is getting them to do something the bully wants them to do. It is also known as controlling behaviour.
Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is any form of bullying that happens online. It can take place on devices, such as:
- computers
- laptops
- smartphones
- tablets
- gaming consoles
See our information about cyberbullying and staying safe online.
Deaf children and young people
Research shows that children and young people with disabilities may be more likely to experience bullying. However, it is important not to assume that all deaf children are going to be bullied.
Deaf children and young people may experience bullying related to their deafness. This may include:
- lack of deaf awareness
- negative attitudes towards any kind of disability
- looking different because of their hearing devices or technology
- lack of understanding about British Sign Language (BSL) and other communication methods
- teaching arrangements highlighting difference. This may include, being taught separately or being supported by a teaching assistant
Deaf children and young people may experience bullying because they are seen to be different, for example:
- speaking or communicating differently
- finding it hard to make friends
- missing verbal and non-verbal social cues, like a sarcastic comment
- not comfortable standing up for themselves or verbally defending themselves
- spending lots of time online which may make them more vulnerable to cyberbullying
Signs of bullying
Being able to recognise the signs that someone is being bullied is useful, especially as many children and young people may not report that they are being bullied. Some will hide their feelings. Others may not be able to report it due to communication or learning difficulties.
Signs of bullying are often sudden changes in behaviour, for example:
- difficulties sleeping too little or too much
- becoming withdrawn
- bed-wetting (where this hasn't been a problem before)
- reluctance to go to school or where the bullying is happening, and doing things like faking illness to avoid it
- being late for school more (where lateness hasn't been an issue before)
- doing less well at school
- wanting to change their route to school or the time they set off
- being aggressive towards family members, teachers or other children or young people
- showing bullying behaviours themselves
- coming home with cuts and bruises or damage to clothing or belongings
- coming home hungrier than usual, which might mean that their lunch or lunch money is being taken
- ‘losing’ belongings or money
- wanting to distance themselves from obvious signs of deafness or difference. This can look like not wanting to wear hearing aids or not wanting support in class
Advice for parents of deaf children
Some children may go straight to their parents when they are being bullied. However, others may be reluctant to say anything or find it difficult to talk about it.
Finding out your child is being bullied can feel overwhelming. Many parents report feeling sad, helpless or angry. It’s natural to feel like this but remember that there are things you can do.
What to do if you're worried your child is being bullied
If you're worried that your child is being bullied, there are things you can do. Family Lives suggests questions you can ask to encourage younger children to open up.
- What did you do at school today?
- Who did you play with?
- What did you play?
- Did you enjoy it?
- Would you have liked to play with someone else or play different games?
- What did you do at lunchtime?
- Is there anyone you do not like at school? Why?
- Are you looking forward to going to school tomorrow?
How to help your child explain to you what is happening
Some children find it difficult to explain what is happening. Contact suggests that, depending on the age of your child, you could:
- Draw pictures of your child’s day or ask them to draw what has happened during their day. You could draw pictures of them at break, at lunchtime, in the classroom or moving about the school. You could draw what games they played.
- Use toys, puppets or pets to encourage your child to talk. You could use them to tell a story of a child being bullied and show how important it is to tell someone. Your child may feel more comfortable telling a toy or puppet what is happening.
- Use a diary system or a box where you and your child write comments and questions you can talk about later.
- Use scales to rate how your child is feeling at different times during the day. You could use numbers or traffic light symbols for example. Where the different numbers or colours mean different feelings. If you use a traffic light system, use green for feeling good, orange for okay and red for upset.
- Use pictures of faces showing different expressions to explain feelings. You could draw pictures of happy, sad, angry, crying faces and ask your child to choose one to match how they feel.
- Use visual prompts like pictures in books. Communication boards (visual symbols organised by topic) can be helpful. Cue cards (that contain a message in a picture or written format).
Working with your child
- Listen to them. Try to give them the time and space to explain to the best of their ability what has happened.
- You may find it hard but do not get angry or upset when they talk to you about it.
- Children who are bullied may feel that they are to blame. It’s important to reassure your child that it’s not their fault.
- Talk to your child about what they would like to happen next.
Share resources about bullying with your child. These are aimed at children and young people:
- Family Lives
- Childline, including the Deaf Zone
Working with the school
If the bullying is happening at school, arrange to speak to your child’s class teacher, form tutor or head of year. Even if the bullying takes place off school premises, still inform the school. State schools can discipline pupils for bullying fellow students on and off school premises.
Here are some further steps you can take to work with your child's school:
- If your child has a Teacher of the Deaf (ToD), speak to them about the bullying. They are an important source of information and support.
- Talk to the school about your child’s deafness and other disabilities. Encourage the school to be more deaf aware. Your child’s ToD, if they have one, can help with this.
- Explain to the school the effect that the bullying is having on your child and family.
- See your GP if your child is unable to go to school because of the stress caused by the bullying.
- Keep a record of any instances of bullying and your dealings with the school about the bullying. Use Contact's diary template in their guide for parents of disabled children.
- Ask to see the school’s anti-bullying policy. All schools should have one and you can find out more about the legal implications here.
- Try to work with the school to find a solution. It may take more than one meeting. Be persistent. If speaking to a member of staff doesn’t work, contact the head teacher.
- Use Contact's sample letter to inform your child's school that they're being bullied.
- In some cases, a school may not respond appropriately or the bullying may continue. You may want to write a formal letter of complaint and then escalate as needed. Check the school’s complaints procedure before you write. Most schools have it on their website. If not, ask them for a copy. Keep a copy of the letter of complaint.
You can find more information about making a complaint about education in:
Protecting deaf children from bullying
All schools should have their own anti-bullying policy. The policy should include procedures for reporting and responding to bullying. Your child’s school should make their policy accessible. It should reflect the needs of disabled and deaf pupils.
Equality and anti-discrimination legislation requires schools to:
- take reasonable steps to make sure disabled pupils aren’t treated less favourably than other pupils in arrangements for preventing and dealing with bullying
- take measures to eliminate discrimination, harassment and victimisation
- promote equality of opportunity between pupils
- encourage good relations between deaf pupils and their peers
Improving deaf awareness at school
Parents of deaf children who have experienced bullying often report poor deaf awareness at their child's school.
Here are some steps you can take to help improve deaf awareness.
- Talk to school staff about deaf awareness to see what they already know.
- Speak to your child’s ToD, if they have one. They will be able to provide deaf awareness training for staff, if this hasn’t already happened. You can also ask them about arranging for a deaf role model to visit the school.
Deaf-friendly resources
Share our deaf-friendly teaching resources:
- Deaf-friendly teaching: For primary school staff
- Deaf-friendly teaching: For secondary school staff
- Deaf-friendly teaching: For staff in special schools
- Deaf-friendly teaching: For children who use English as an additional language
- Deaf-friendly teaching: Northern Ireland
For younger children, we have:
- children's books featuring deaf characters
- comics explaining situations related to deafness, including information on hearing aids, cochlear implants, glue ear and grommets, and going to the hearing clinic.
- deaf awareness videos
What to do if your child is bullying others
Some behaviour exhibited by deaf children and young people might be misunderstood by others, for example:
- speaking loudly
- using aggression to get attention (because they haven’t yet got the skills to do it any other way)
- tugging at someone’s sleeve
- tapping someone or banging the table to get attention
Hearing children may not understand why a deaf child might be behaving in a certain way. This shows the importance of deaf awareness in schools. If you think this might be happening, speak to your child about their behaviour and how it might be interpreted by others.
Make sure that your child understands about right and wrong behaviour. Bear in mind that just because a child is deaf it doesn’t mean that they will not be a bully, even if their behaviour is unintentional. They need to learn what is acceptable to prevent problems in the future.
Talk to your child’s school about deaf awareness. The same applies if your child’s ‘bullying’ behaviour arises from another disability. Make sure that the school is aware of your child’s condition and how it affects their behaviour.
Sometimes children who are being bullied respond by bullying others. This can in turn lead to further bullying. If your child is accused of bullying, it’s important to take it seriously, even if you find it hard to believe that they could do such a thing. Find out more about what happened and work with the school or others involved to find a solution.
Bullying of siblings in relation to their deaf brother or sister
Some parents have reported that siblings of deaf children are sometimes bullied too. The signs of bullying and ways to respond will also apply to their siblings. It's important to reassure them that it's not their or their sibling’s fault.
You could also look into the possibility of getting support for siblings. You can order our activity book for hearing siblings of deaf children:
What the law says
Every school must have measures in place to deal with all forms of bullying. You can ask to see your school's anti-bullying policy for more information.
Bullying in itself is not a specific criminal offence in the UK, but some types of bullying are illegal.
This includes bullying that involves:
- violence or assault
- theft
- harassment and intimidation
- threatening behaviour
- sending abusive emails or text messages
- hate crime
Find more information about bullying and the law (Anti-Bullying Alliance website).
Should I involve the police?
This is what the Metropolitan Police say about involving the police in cases of bullying:
Can the police come into school or college and arrest bullies?
This doesn’t usually happen. Most schools have measures in place to tackle bullying early. If they work together, pupils, teachers and parents are much better placed to prevent bullying.
What if the bullying is serious and involves physical assault?
In some circumstances, the school may call in the police. This is generally as a last resort or because something very serious has happened.
Some young people are continually involved in bullying behaviour. This may include violence, theft or harassment. In this case, they may be given an Anti-Social Behaviour Order (ASBO).
Anyone – a teacher, parent or pupil – can make a complaint about bullying to the police if they feel it’s serious. In most cases, we recommend talking to teachers or another responsible adult first.
Getting help from your local authority
England
In England, bullying itself is not considered to be a special educational need or disability (SEND). However, some deaf children and young people will already have been identified as having SEND. In these cases, bullying should be dealt with as part of their special educational provision. Speak to the school's special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCo).
Discuss concerns with your child's school. If they have not been identified as having SEND, you can ask for a statutory assessment.
Find out more about additional support in education in England.
Northern Ireland
In Northern Ireland, bullying itself is not considered to be a special educational need (SEN). However, some deaf children and young people will already have been identified as having SEN. In these cases, bullying should be dealt with as part of their special educational provision. Speak to the school's learning support coordinator (LSC). LSCs used to be known as SENCos.
Discuss concerns with your child's school. If they have not been identified as having SEN, you can ask for a statutory assessment.
Find out more about additional support in education in Northern Ireland.
Scotland
In Scotland bullying can be considered as an additional support need. Families may be able to get support from their local authority under Getting it Right for Every Child (GIRFEC).
Find out more about GIRFEC and additional support in Scotland.
Wales
In Wales, bullying may be considered as an additional learning need (ALN). Some deaf children and young people will already have been identified as having ALN. In these cases, bullying should be dealt with as part of their additional support for learning. Speak to the school's additional learning needs co-ordinator (ALNCo).
Discuss concerns with your child's school. If they have not been identified as having ALN, you can ask for a statutory assessment.
Find out more about additional support in education in Wales.
Contact social care services
Social care services wouldn't normally be involved in any cases involving bullying. They will only become involved if they believe that the bullying poses a significant risk to your child.
Parents have a legal right to request a statutory assessment if they would like support. Social care services may be able to address needs arising from bullying, as well as any wider needs.
For more information contact our Helpline.
Other organisations that can help
There are lots of organisations that can help. These resources focus on school settings, but the information applies to any situation. You can report online abuse to the National Crime Agency's Child Exploitation and Online Protection service (CEOP).
- Anti-Bullying Alliance: A coalition of organisations working together to stop bullying. They provide advice in relation to all forms of bullying between children and young people.
- Bullies Out (Wales): Information for children, young people and adults in Wales.
- Family Lives: Information and support on a range of topics affecting families, including bullying.
- CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection): Information and advice about internet safety. Also offers CEOP Education for children and young people,
- Childline: A helpline for children offering emotional support and counselling. Helpline: 0800 1111 (24 hours). Can also contact by email or online chat.
- Childnet: Information for professionals, parents and young people on cyberbullying.
- Contact: A national charity for families with disabled children. Offers support, information and advice on topics including bullying. Helpline: 0808 808 3555.
- Equality Commission for Northern Ireland: Information on human rights issues, including disability discrimination.
- Information Advice and Support Services: formerly known as Parent Partnership Services. Advice and support to parents and carers of children with special educational needs and disabilities.
- Kidscape: a UK charity established to prevent bullying and child sexual abuse.
- Anti-Bullying Helpline for Parents: 08451 205 204.
- NSPCC: Information, advice and counselling related to child safety. Helpline: 0808 800 5000 Text: 88858 Email: help@nspcc.org.uk.
- Respect Me (Scotland): Scotland’s anti-bullying service. Helpline: 0844 800 8600.
- Sibs: Charity representing the needs of siblings of disabled people.
- UK Safer Internet Centre: E-safety tips, advice and resources on internet safety.
Full references for this webpage are available by emailing
informationteam@ndcs.org.uk