Building confidence and resilience in deaf young people

The importance of confidence and resilience

From the early years through to young adulthood, your deaf child will experience a lot of things. A sense of confidence and resilience can help them navigate challenges, manage emotions and build their self-esteem. 

What self-confidence and resilience mean

Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in your own abilities, capacities and judgements. Rather than believing you can do everything perfectly, true self-confidence involves having a positive but realistic sense of your strengths and weaknesses.

Resilience in children refers to their ability to ‘bounce back’ from difficult situations or challenges. It involves learning to cope effectively with stress and adversity rather than avoiding it.

Why self-confidence and resilience are important

Many parenting resources talk about the importance of giving children responsibility for tasks and showing them that you trust them to complete them. This can help foster a sense of independence and create a solid foundation for learning new tasks. 

Similarly, self-confidence and resilience can help your deaf young person develop independence, try new things and even learn to self-advocate.

How to help your deaf young person build self-confidence and resilience

We believe that with the right support, your child's deafness doesn’t have to hold them back from accomplishing their goals and living their lives. You, your family and others in your child’s support network are in a unique position to help support your young person as they grow.

From developmental psychology, we know that there are key times in a young person’s life that shape the way they think and respond. In fact, 90% of your child’s brain growth happens before the age of 5.

Puberty is another a key transition period, where the brain undergoes a period of rapid rewiring (which means that experiences can leave a lasting mark). By helping your child build self-confidence and resilience as they grow, they’ll be much more ready to take on adult responsibilities – such as transitioning from paediatric audiology to adult audiology services.

To help you along your journey, we’ve carefully prepared information and advice on raising a deaf child. The section includes a helpful breakdown of advice for the various stages, from the early years to young adulthood. But there are more things you can do to help them, too.

Supporting their deaf identity

Deaf identity is about how your deaf young person understands and experiences their deafness. When we know and accept who we are, it’s easier to feel more confident and more resilient. When deaf children are aware of their deafness and feel empowered, confident and capable of dealing with some of the everyday challenges they might face, that can have a positive impact on their lives.

Whether through community involvement, education or deaf role models, supporting your deaf child in exploring and embracing their deaf identity can play a significant role in building their confidence and sense of self-worth.

Get tips on supporting a deaf young person’s deaf identity

Listing the good things

"It's important for him to have something special about him that isn't related to his deafness." 
-Amy is mum to Magnus (3)

Helping your deaf young person explore what makes them unique is a great way to help build their confidence. Try having them draw, write, talk or sign about questions such as:

• What are my special gifts and talents?
• What are things I like about myself?
• What am I happiest doing at school?
• What am I happiest doing at home?

Together, you can reflect on those – and refer back to them whenever your child experiences a difficulty or setback.

Accepting their deafness

In addition to recognising and celebrating their strengths outside of their deafness, it’s also very helpful to work on accepting their deafness itself. Especially if you’ve recently been told about your child’s hearing loss, there can be a period of adjustment – both for you and your deaf child. If your child is experiencing stress or anxiety about their deafness, helping them find ways to cope with those feelings can help them confidently accept themselves as they are.

Building a supportive community

"My son is full of potential, and as long as we support him or find the right support, he will be able to achieve his goals." 
-Monica attended one of our sessions for parents

Resilience doesn’t mean doing everything yourself – in fact, it’s a lot easier to be confident and resilient when you’ve got a strong community. Helping your child find supportive, deaf-friendly spaces or communities can help them thrive and feel accepted, which fosters a sense of belonging. 

Whether you explore deaf culture, join local groups, seek out stories about deaf role models , advocate for deaf-friendly practices (including medical appointments) or access professional help for emotional health, there are lots of ways to tap into the power of connection.

Developing independence

We all like to feel like we have some control over the world around us. Giving children responsibility for certain age-appropriate things, like helping in the kitchen, walking to school alone or looking after their own hearing equipment, can help to boost their sense of independence.

Try to give clear boundaries by setting specific targets – for example, 'getting yourself dressed by 7.45am' or 'remembering to use your radio aid in class'. But show your child that you know they are capable of keeping themselves safe, and trust them to complete the task they’ve been given. 

(Depending on the age of your child, reward success with praise, stars and stickers and eventually a treat!)

Finding a hobby

“If you want to get involved in sport, go for it! The determination that is inside of you will help carry you through difficult times because the outcomes are incredible!” 
- Helen (16) is a competitive rower and has profound hearing loss in one ear

Hobbies are great ways to build skills and find community. Finding a hobby that your child enjoys can help boost their confidence. Encourage them to join extracurricular clubs, and try to be supportive of their interests outside of school.

We’ve got an entire section on travel, hobbies and leisure, and we’ve also got information about deaf-friendly playtime activities and advice for activity leaders. For deaf children, you might want to explore activities that don't rely too heavily on oral communication (such as swimming, cycling, dancing, gardening or art).

Consider sharing our tips on making activities deaf-friendly with your child’s coaches or teachers to help make sure your child feels included. You could also complete a personal passport or profile to share with coaches and teachers.

Practising gratitude

Thinking of things that we’re grateful for can provide a sense of balance in times of struggle. Try to get in the habit of sharing one thing you’re grateful for each day, and get your child to share theirs, too. It doesn’t have to be anything big – it could be something as simple as ‘sunshine’ or as big as ‘going on holiday’.

If you start this when your child is young – perhaps building it into mealtimes or at the beginning or end of each day – it could create a wonderful foundation for them. Older children who’ve picked up and retained the habit can even do this independently, perhaps as part of a daily journal.