Challenges your deaf child might experience

As the parent or carer of a deaf child, it can be hard to understand what your child is going through – especially if you’re not deaf yourself (or if it’s been a while since you were a deaf young person).

Building social skills and addressing loneliness

Children, like all people, have a need to interact and communicate. It helps them express themselves, explore their world and connect with others. 

But communication isn’t something that just happens through something like speech or signing. In fact, research talks about the ‘hundred languages’ that children use to ‘express, explore and connect their thoughts, feelings and imaginings’. 

Play is a great way to help your child with their social development. Helping your child explore and find which way(s) they prefer to communicate is a key aspect when it comes to supporting play and social (or emotional) development.

If your deaf child is finding it difficult to communicate, this can have a negative impact on their confidence. With the right support, you and others who care for your child can help to minimise anxiety and build social skills.

We go into this topic on our friendships page for deaf young people, but you might find it helpful to read this quick overview:

• Encourage your child to build friendships based on mutual respect, common interests and being willing to make an effort for one another.
• Help them find ways to self-advocate – such as sharing our videos of deaf awareness tips for hearing peers in the early years!
• Practise social skills, such as making eye contact, saying hello, taking turns and being aware of others’ feelings.
• If they’re new to a school, club or class, being paired up with a deaf-friendly buddy can help them settle in and find their group.
• Connect them to communities. Give them opportunities to play with both deaf and hearing peers. We’ve got a list of local deaf children’s groups across the UK. You can also try bringing them to places like the playground and helping them learn how to share their needs and communication preferences with playmates. 

Addressing bullying

Loneliness can also be the result of bullying. Bullying can happen to anyone, at any age. The bully’s words or actions might focus on what someone looks like, the clothes they wear or their communication method.

We go into this topic in depth on our page for deaf children and young people about bullying, but you might find it helpful to read this quick overview:

• Reassure your child it’s not their fault. Explain that bullies might be saying things just to make them upset or angry.
• Make sure they have someone to talk to (even if it’s not you). Depending on your child’s age and personality, they might feel more comfortable confiding in a teacher, activity leader or another trusted adult.
• Get the right educators or activity leaders involved. Request meetings with any relevant adults and keep open lines of communication. Familiarise yourself with the school’s anti-bullying policy – you should be able to download a copy from their website.
• Keep a record. Make a note of dates, times and what’s been said, and be sure to keep any notes, drawings or screenshots of texts or emails the bullies have sent, too.
• Help them look after their wellbeing. Bullying can be really upsetting and difficult. Help your child find ways to take care of their mental health and do things they enjoy. If they’re struggling with their emotional health, your GP could advise you on ways to access mental health support.
• Help them find their network. Ask your child’s school if they could be paired up with a deaf-friendly buddy to help them settle in. Getting a sense of belonging from local groups or volunteering can also help boost resilience and confidence.
• Seek professional help. Being a parent or carer doesn’t mean you have to do everything alone. You and your deaf young person can contact our Helpline or explore other organisations that provide wellbeing support.
• Explore what’s helped others. Follow us on social media or visit our stories page to read about how other deaf young people have dealt with loneliness and bullying.

Read more about bullying

Managing energy levels

“I can tell when things are a bit much for Isabelle. She stops listening, and she’s quicker to throw a tantrum (though this could just be her age)!” 
-Nicky is mum to Isabelle and Jack, who are both profoundly deaf.

For deaf children, listening and following conversations can require a lot more concentration than it might for their hearing friends. 

Whether they're using speech, sign language or a mix of both, it takes extra effort to catch all the details, especially in noisy environments. Even with the use of other strategies, such as lip-reading, communication uses a lot of mental energy.

We go into this topic in depth on our page about concentration fatigue for deaf young people, but you might find it helpful to read this quick overview:

• Communication uses a lot of brain power. Deaf children experience fatigue because their brains have to work harder to process information, which can be super exhausting – especially if they have to listen and interact for longer periods.
• Their behaviour often shows if they’re struggling. Signs can include getting easily frustrated, mood changes, changes in activity (or concentration) levels, sleepiness and wanting to remove hearing technology.
• Self-awareness is important. Explain concentration fatigue so they can understand what’s happening, why and what they can do about it. Help them learn to recognise when they’re feeling tired or overstimulated.
• Help them find what works for them. Explore ways to minimise fatigue, such as not overloading their schedule, creating rest periods throughout the day, and making communication easier by using assistive technology or environmental changes. Use our deaf-friendly communication tips for mealtimes, family gatherings and outings.
• Share solutions with others. Whether through a personal passport or profile, school-based plans or other self-advocacy tools, make sure other adults in your child’s life know how to help them.
• Give them permission to rest. You can help them recover by getting enough sleep and ‘switching off’ (including taking breaks from using hearing devices) when needed.

While fatigue in deaf children is often related to communication effort, there are many other causes of tiredness. If you’re concerned, you should also speak to your GP or health visitor.

Dealing with stress and anxiety

Research suggests that deaf young people are more likely to develop mental health conditions than their hearing peers. Additional difficulties around struggling to communicate, social challenges, reduced expectations or dealing with big changes to your routine can all impact your deaf child more than they would a hearing peer. 

We go into this topic in depth on our page about stress, anxiety and other challenges for deaf young people, but you might find it helpful to read this quick overview: 

• Deaf children are more likely to experience stress and anxiety. There’s not one cause, but if your child seems to have more bad days than good ones (or if they’re struggling with extreme or intense emotions) it could be a sign that they need more support.
• There will always be some stress and anxiety in life. Having a supportive, connected community, using self-advocacy tools (such as personal passports) and ensuring that your child’s rights are respected can help minimise their stress and anxiety.
• Resilience requires support. Make sure they have a trusted adult they can go to, even if that’s not you. Organisations like Childline, SignHealth, YoungMinds, The Mix and the NHS also offer resources and services. If you have one, your Teacher of the Deaf can also help, or reach out to the friendly experts on our Helpline.
• Reassure them they’re not alone. Read stories about how other deaf young people cope with stress and anxiety. Especially if they’re struggling to accept their hearing loss, helping them explore their deaf identity can make a big difference.