Parenting at different ages and stages

No matter the structure, each family – whether biological, foster, adopted or chosen – brings its own strengths. As with any child, there’s not one right way to raise a deaf child. Factors such as the type and level of deafness, the availability of early support and cultural differences will play a role in your experiences. 

As your child grows, their needs and experiences will change, and it's helpful to adjust your approach accordingly. Tailored support and resources foster growth, confidence and independence. To help, we've gathered practical strategies and advice for parenting at each stage of your deaf child's development – from infancy to adulthood.

Early years (0 to 5)

Connection is important in the early years. Facial expressions and physical touch are some of our earliest forms of communication, and they make a great foundation for whichever communication approaches you choose. Early identification and tailored support provide the tools and advice that your baby – and you – need to thrive. 

Key strategies

• Find your community. Surround yourself with a supportive network. Whether it’s family, friends, professionals, local groups or deaf-friendly childcare, these connections can be life-changing.
• Support communication. Start with touch, gestures and facial expressions, then gradually introduce things like sign language, speech and/or hearing devices. Your child’s preferences will evolve, and that’s OK. It’s all about what works in that moment.
• Explore play. Especially if you have a lot of medical appointments, it can feel like a challenge to enjoy these early years. Thankfully, play can happen anywhere, at any time. Try fun, interactive and deaf-friendly playtime, stories, songs and activities (like making silly faces or doing a deaf-friendly episode of Cosmic Kids yoga).
• Test what works. Every deaf child is unique, so what works may vary from child to child – and day to day. Don’t be afraid to try different options to see what suits your child best, whether it’s hearing devices, assistive technology or lifestyle adjustments.
• Reach out to experts. You're not alone, and there’s lots of support out there. For example, ERIC the bladder and bowel charity offers deaf-friendly advice on common topics like potty training, constipation and bedwetting. (Plus, the ERIC Helpline can offer advice in BSL!)

Childhood (6 to 11)

Encouraging your deaf child’s independence – and making it fun – can empower them, boost their self-esteem and help them develop resilience. Once formal education starts, our information on education and learning can help you find an inclusive environment where their needs are respected and supported.

Key strategies

• Stay flexible with communication choices. As your child grows and is introduced to new environments, their needs might change. Be open to adjusting communication methods as they discover what works best for them.
• Explore learning environments. Whether your child is in school or being homeschooled, accessible learning materials, communication support and a tailored approach can help them learn, socialise and thrive. Communication with teachers, professionals and peers is key.
• Teach self-advocacy. Remind educators, healthcare professionals and other adults that they play a key role in your child’s autonomy and confidence. As your child learns about their needs, teach them low-pressure ways to self-advocate – like sharing our deaf awareness videos with peers.
• Develop social skills. Encouraging your child to explore activities and interests that appeal to them will help them develop their identity and interact with others. We’ve got advice on making hobbies and activities deaf-friendly to help ensure your child has a well-rounded social experience.
• Build resilience. Life is full of changes. With the right support, children can build independence, self-confidence, community connections and their deaf identity. Our page on building confidence and resilience in deaf children contains practical tips and tools.

Tweens and teens

This age comes with big emotions and big changes. It's a time for supporting and validating your child’s academic and social successes (and challenges). Giving them tools and support to be involved in decision-making – such as where to go to secondary school or what tech to use (if any) – and encouraging them to take on more responsibilities can help encourage their growing independence. 

Key strategies

• Get curious. Encourage questions, even if you feel embarrassed or unsure how to answer. In addition to our website, places like Childline, the NHS website and The Mix have lots of information. You both can explore the information independently or together.
• Check in with them. Previous decisions might need to be adjusted, especially if your child has challenges around concentration fatigue or auditory processing. Set aside time to discuss what’s working – and what needs to change.
• Explore interests. Your child may be exploring who they are and what they enjoy. Deafness is one part of your child’s identity, and encouraging them to explore all of their interests may make it easier for them to integrate deafness into their understanding of themselves.
• Navigate friends and relationships. Help your child develop strategies for navigating social situations with hearing and deaf peers. Address communication barriers and provide guidance on challenges like bullying, exclusion, puberty and sex education.
• Support their wellbeing. Things like self-advocating are important, but it can take a toll on your child. Have open conversations about the impact of deafness, deaf identity, feelings of isolation and any challenges they may face. Ensure they know where to go for support.

Post-16 to young adulthood (16 to 25)

As your child moves into adulthood, the focus shifts to supporting them as decision-makers. This is also a time to explore long-term living options and navigate questions related to employment, further education and practical life skills.

Key strategies

• Step into a support role. Encourage them to take ownership of their options and decisions. Remember that you don’t have to be the sole source of support. Contentious topics (such as hearing device use) may be easier for them to discuss with a trusted family friend or professional.
• Boost independence. Encourage your teen to take on more responsibilities, such as managing money, applying for jobs, driving and travelling independently. These steps help build their confidence and prepare them for adulthood.
• Explore career and educational support. If your child is considering further education or work options, they may need new tactics and support. Check out our information about career options, and ask what support they want or need.
• Build financial and life skills. You’ve likely discussed essential life skills, but now it’s time for your child to navigate making appointments, managing money, applying for benefits, working, using public transport and managing daily tasks more independently. They will likely make mistakes, so helping them learn from those mistakes will help them in the long run.
• Discuss deaf advocacy and leadership. Encourage your child to explore leadership roles within the deaf community and beyond. From promoting deaf awareness in different settings to engaging with local and national governments as an advocate for change, there are lots of ways for your child to use their lived experiences to help shape a better world.

Raising a deaf child is full of both challenges and joys, but with the right support and resources, your child can grow, thrive and achieve their fullest potential. Each stage offers new opportunities for connection, learning and independence, and we’re here to guide you every step of the way.

When you’re ready, explore more of our content about things like playtime, deaf-friendly storytime tips or involving others in your support network. If you have a question – or need advice about your local offer and benefits available – please reach out to the friendly experts on our Helpline.