It's OK

It’s OK to be angry.
To feel something break inside you when the world refuses to make space.
When you have to fight for what should be freely given.
When you’re told, over and over, to be patient – when patience has never changed a single thing!

It’s OK to be tired.
That bone-deep, curl up and sleep on the floor of the freezer section of Sainsbury’s kind of tired.
Not just from the sleepless nights, the paperwork, the appointments,
But from carrying the invisible weight of feeling like you always have to explain.
Always having to advocate. Always being the strong one.

It’s OK to feel lost.
To wonder if you’re getting it right, if you’re doing enough.
To question whether the choices you make today will shape a future they will love or one they will resent.
To wish – just for a moment – that someone could give you the answers rather than just endless and vague options.

It’s OK to mourn. It really is!
To grieve for the life you imagined – not just for them but for you!
For the dreams you created long before you even met them.
To daydream the conversations that might never happen the way you once pictured,
For the effortless moments you thought parenthood would bring, and for the kind of parent you thought you’d be.
To hold that grief in your hands and know that it does not mean you love them any less.
It means you love them so much that you can let go of what was never meant to be,
And embrace what is.

It’s OK to cry.
To break down when no one is watching, or
When everyone is watching and you think that now you’ve started you’ll never stop,
To sob in frustration, in exhaustion, in fear –
And then to dry your face and keep going,
Because that’s what we do, even when it feels impossible.

It’s OK to be afraid.
To wonder if the world will be kind to them.
To worry about the things you cannot control,
The future that stretches too far ahead, and it’s full of questions without answers.

But it’s also OK to hope.
To believe that there will be joy, not just struggle.
That their life will be full – not in spite of their deafness, but because of it.
That they will know love, and laughter, and belonging. Of course they will!

It’s OK to be proud.
Not just of them, but of yourself.
Every battle fought, every tear wiped away, every choice was made with an immeasurable amount of love.