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A mother's story: Part 3

Published Date: 24 Mar 2022

I saw a quote the other day that read…

"Mum: a person who sacrifices her body, sleep, social life, spending money, eating hot meals, peeing alone, patience, energy and sanity for love!”

These words could not be more true. As any mum will tell you, being a mum is really hard. You lose yourself, and all you become is ‘mum’, but being a mum to a deaf child brings on more challenges and daily commitments. You need to juggle hospital appointments and check-ups around your full-time job, school and nursery. You can't just leave the house or go on a trip away without remembering to pack all the essentials like the charger, spare batteries and the dry box. Don't even get me started on the, what feels like, degree-level training you need to maintain and take care of the cochlear equipment every day. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve been tucked up in bed falling asleep when I have shot up and ran downstairs because I forgot to put the radio aid on charge!

Being a single mum who works a full-time demanding job is especially tough - in fact, it’s exhausting. There are days when everything gets too much and all I want to do is shut myself away and cry (and believe me I do) but then I have to remind myself that I have a little human looking up to me who I need to be strong for. Sometimes I feel like I can't cry, I can't show my emotion as I need to be the strong one. I have lost the person who I was before becoming a mum both physically and emotionally, and it’s tough.

Kenzie goes to school in the morning and nursery in the afternoon, and this makes me feel guilty every day. I feel like I’m a terrible mother for not spending more time with him. But being a single mum doesn't give me much choice - I have to make sure he’s safe and provided for and I am able to give him the best life I possibly can.

I always feel terrible and guilty for wanting time alone, and then when I have that time alone, I miss him like crazy and want him home again. Being a mum is an emotional rollercoaster but is also so incredibly rewarding. I get to share my life with my best friend and my true love.

When I feel down or I’m feeling guilty, I need to learn to pause and look at how happy Kenzie is and how well he’s progressing. Anyone who knows Kenzie describes him as a happy, sociable and joyful little boy who is always smiling. And this is true, he is always so happy and takes on every day like a new adventure. I need to stop being so hard on myself and realise that I am a good mum and everything I do I do for him, and I am creating a life full of memories that we share together.

So my message to all the mums out there… don’t be hard on yourself, you’re doing an amazing job. When times get tough and all you want to do is shut yourself away and cry… then cry, and when times are good remember to smile, laugh and enjoy every moment. But most importantly remember that tomorrow is a new day and a brand new adventure.

Mums, we are superheroes, and we have got this! 


Becky is mum to Mackenzie (5), who is profoundly deaf. Mackenzie was fitted with cochlear implants in January 2020. Becky also blogs about family life, you can find her at @youdontneedtohear on Facebook.